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With a rock n' roll soundtrack and free porn videos of girls hypotheses into sexa bevy of beloved stars, Thor: Love and Thunderseemed poised to be a victory lap for Taika Waititi. After helmer Alan Taylor's Thor: The Dark Worldwent over like a wet fart in 2013, this charismatic writer/director/actor not only rebranded the titular God of Thunder into an adorkable himbo for Thor: Ragnarokbut also cast himself as the lovable rock creature Korg. Waititi also introduced thirst trapping to the MCU by way of a strapped Valkyrie, a naked Hulk, and a long-established sex symbol, Jeff Goldblum. Fans would likely have been giddy for more of the same in Waititi's follow-up. But while a bunch of the characters we've loved return for this fourth installment, the thrill is gone. Thor: Love and Thunderis a mess that can't make sense of what matters. 

Co-written by Taika Waititi and Jennifer Kaytin Robinson, Thor: Love and Thunderpicks up with its eponymous Avenger galavanting around space with the Guardians of the Galaxy, flexing his beefy biceps for good and running from the pain of his long-ago break-up with mortal scientist Dr. Jane Foster (Natalie Portman). That is, until Gorr the God Butcher (Christian Bale in Voldemort mode) descends on New Asgard with shadow beasts in tow, kidnapping a handful of Asgardian kiddies along the way to kick off his war against the gods.

It's tough enough to run into an ex, but Thor is a bit crushed to realize that Jane has gotten a post-split glow-up courtesy of Mjölnir magic. Blonde, buff, and clad in Viking armor, Jane is now known as Mighty Thor, and she can kick all kinds of monster butt. Butto bring an end to Gorr's vengeance-fueled annihilation of all gods, these exes will have to team up — and bring along some previously established friends, like Korg (Waititi) and King Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson). 

Unfortunately, amid requisite action sequences, introducing new MCU entities, and plentiful flashbacks that doggedly detail the chilly breakdown of Thor and Jane's once-piping hot romance, Thor: Love and Thunderdoesn't have much time for fan-favorite figures. Both Korg and Valkyrie are awkwardly sidelined to make room for Jane, Thor, and Gorr, but even those main storylines feel short-changed. 

Thor and Jane's odd couple dynamic doesn't work here. 

In Thor, the arrogant jock god and the brainy but beautiful scientist shared an intoxicating chemistry. Here, that sexual spark is dulled, even though — as trailers teased— Hemsworth gets naked and Jane has a sexy new look. Somehow their scenes together lack heat and feel more like tweens fumbling at flirting, instead of international sex symbols/immortal gods rediscovering their spark. 

Perhaps the problem is that Jane and Thor are set up for wildly different tones in the film. Thor is bounding from one adventure to another with Golden Retriever energy, bringing with him a goofy charm that would be at home in any of Waititi's other projects. Meanwhile, Jane is enduring an arc all about mortality and disease plucked straight from the comic books. Jane's somber storyline repeatedly colliding with Thor's whole deal is jarring throughout, never allowing for the audience to slide into this rocky ride. But this is just one element of the film's awkwardness. 

Gorr, a MCU villain not given his due. 

Thorgave fans the first MCU villain we couldn't help but root for with Loki, but while Gorr isn't nearly as dashing, he does have a somewhat reasonable gripe — although like Black Panther's Killmonger, Gorr's response is rather overzealous. You see, Thor: Love and Thunderdoesn't open with fun Thor shenanigans. It opens with an emaciated Gorr, desperately carrying his dying daughter through a sun-scorched desert. Only after she has died in his arms does he find salvation in a fertile oasis, where the god Gorr worshipped sits laughing at his suffering. So, Gorr kills his god. And then sets out to kill more. 

We're meant to assume this is all bad news, because of a flurry of indistinct distress calls. But what makes Gorr's quest different from those of the Avengers or the Guardians or the Eternals when they brought down Loki, Hela, Ego, or Arishem? Even in Thor: Love and Thunderthere are gods on display who are either cartoonishly villainous or cavalierly callous. Yet there's no room to explore the potential moral grey area of Gorr's mission. It's chalked up simply to cursed revenge brought on by heartbreak. Still, even within such limits, Bale delivers a hell of a performance. 

While others caper or smolder for the camera, Bale seeps with agony and a twisted delight in bringing down the gods who would make us humans playthings. There's an exciting menace in his thin smile. But best of all is when he turns into a kids' show host from hell, decapitating a snake creature to use it as a puppet to terrorize the children he's abducted. In a dank cage on the dark side of the universe, Bale brings color and a twisted hint of a loving dad whose soul has been mutilated by grief. Waititi gives us something to sink our teeth into here, but Bale's screentime is all too brief. 

There must be room, after all, to watch the dull flashbacks of Jane and Thor's tepid isolation of affections. Forget Marriage Story-level drama. Their long, mysterious breakup has all the emotional weight of a soggy napkin. 

Thor: Love and Thunder does have some bright spots, like Russell Crowe. 

Barrel-chested, bearded, and barking about orgies, Crowe is delicious fun as Zeus. With a thick Greek accent, Crowe had me the moment he called Thor "Babycakes." Whether it's Virtuosity or Winter's Tale, Crowe doesn't shy away from playing an over-the-top villain. Here, he is a welcome reminder of what fun a Thormovie can be, outshining even Hemsworth in bravado. Sadly, Crowe is not given a ton to do in his first MCU outing.  

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Other brief but delightful elements include the clever recapping device of bringing back the Asgardian theater troupe (Matt Damon, Luke Hemsworth, and Sam Neill), a soundtrack banging with Guns N' Roses, and a Jean-Claude Van Damme-style split with a God of Thunder extravagance. Thompson is underused, but she smirks and sizzles in a handful of scenes. There's also a barrage of dazzling gods on display during the Zeus sequence. While they are captivating in their details, designs, and cultural inclusivity, the blink-and-you'll-miss-them nature of this sequence speaks to the slapdash approach that makes the film deeply frustrating, as it is littered with wasted opportunities. 

Waititi throws so much into Thor: Love and Thunderthat we're meant to be awed by the wild (CGI) stunts, gorgeous stars, the superhero spectacle, the out-of-left-field wackiness of screaming goats and a jealous warhammer. But these flashy elements aren't woven together as much as tossed together. The storytelling is lazy and bumbling, which makes the emotional beats feel clumsy. The characters are abandoned. The climax offers a frenzy of ideas but little thought, leading to a groan-worthy epilogue that pulls our himbo hero into a new chapter that is the stuff of cheesy '80s sitcoms, not cinema. 

With Thor: Ragnarok, Waititi gifted us a humorous hunk who set out hearts (and loins) aflame. With Thor: Love and Thunder, he seemed to promise more of the same, but squelches an epic romance, floods the film with maudlin moments that feel rushed and unresolved, and never really delivers a memorable punchline. In the end, Love and Thunderis raucous, flashy, and vacuous, not satisfyingly fun. 

Thor: Love and Thunder is now in theaters.