For the second year in a row,adult youth gay sex stories and videos people celebrating Passover will find themselves with an addition to their seder tables: a laptop, tablet, or smartphone, used to connect with friends and family over a group video chat.
Passover is the eight-day Jewish festival that celebrates themes of springtime and freedom, centered on retelling the biblical story of the Jews' liberation from slavery in Egypt. The holiday is an extremely social one: It involves gathering with friends and family over a religious meal called a seder that's filled with prayer, story, symbolic ritual, and — of course — good food.
But like so many would-be gatherings since COVID-19 forced us all to social distance, Passover will once again be different this year. Social distancing orders put in place to stop the spread of COVID-19 make getting together for Passover with people outside of your own home an unadvisable health hazard. (Unless you've all been fully vaccinated.)
In the Passover spirit of making the most of the time and resources you have under difficult circumstances — the holiday's main edible symbol, a cracker-like bread called matzah, stands for exactly this — some Jews are turning to another object of necessity to celebrate the holiday this year: video conference calling.
"Many Jews in North America, Israel, and around the globe are engaging in Zoom and other platforms for Passover seders," Rabbi Rachel Sabath Beit-Halachmi, the content director at Our Common Destiny, an organization which seeks to unite the global Jewish community around common values, said. "Passover has developed over the centuries, and its rituals, texts, and core ideas are evolving and developing now in this crisis in very powerful ways."
A strict interpretation of Jewish law prohibits the use of electronics during some holidays, including Passover. However, not all Jews follow those customs. The leadership of the Conservative branch of Judaism has said, regarding streamed seders, that leniency should be allowed during challenging times. (Conservatives, despite the name, espouse a more flexible interpretation of certain Jewish laws compared to groups like the Orthodox and Chabad, although they are stricter than liberal movements like Reform.) More religious Jews are connecting over video chat before the holiday actually begins, too.
"I've seen many people planning pre-Seder connects," Rabbi Mordechai Lightstone, the social media editor for Chabad.org, which offers educational information about Judaism, said. "So using that time to get dressed for the holiday, practice the four questions, share family memories and stories. After the call is done, everyone can light the holiday candles and get set for the evening itself."
If you're comfortable using technology during a seder, there are a few things you can do to not only make the seder run smoothly, but have it be uniquely meaningful, and memorable. Mashable consulted with multiple Jewish leaders and guides about how to pull it off.
"Our rituals and celebrations can’t be stopped by unfortunate circumstances," Rabbi Rachel Grant Meyer, the Rabbi-in-Residence at HIAS, a refugee-aid nonprofit, and author of the HIAS Haggadah, said. "We will always find a way to come together and to keep our traditions alive, even if not in exactly the way to which we are accustomed."
Here's a guide on how to host or participate in a seder over Zoom.
1. Leadership planning
From cooking to singing, hosting and attending an in-person seder takes a lot of preparation. A virtual one is no exception. If you are planning to "host" a seder, it's a good idea to have a pre-planning phone callwith other attendee stakeholders to work out some key details. Those are:
Which video chatting platform to use?For the purposes of this article, we're going to assume Zoom because it is affordable, allows for a grid view of many participants, and is free and easy to use for attendees. However, here are some other options, specifically with better privacy track records.
Who is going to be the seder leader?This is the person who will guide the order and discussion of the night.
Who is going to be in charge of the technical details?David Ackerman, a senior vice president at the JCC Association of North America, recommends that attendees "assign someone other than the leader of the seder to be in charge of Zoom." That way one person can be in charge of tech and troubleshooting (and will need to have a Zoom subscription, if they anticipate it going longer than 40 minutes), while the leader can focus on the actual content.
What Haggadah will you use, and how will you distribute it?There are multiple online Haggadot, that you can either send out to attendees ahead of time, or display as a screen share over Zoom. Whichever way you go, just make sure everyone has access to a copy.
How will you represent the contents of a seder plate?In order to go through the full symbols of the seder, all the objects should be represented. But not every person has to have all of them IRL. Who will be in charge of "bringing" what?
How will you manage communication?Will everyone be on mute, or will you allow people to interject in some way (you could make use of the Zoom "hand raise" function)?
What is the scope of the seder?Your Zoom seder might be abbreviated or different from the whole enchilada, cover-to-cover seder you might typically do — or it might not. "It is important to define the purpose of your seder, and then use that as a guide to figure out what you'll actually do," Rabbi Charlie Schwartz, director of content development at The Center for Jewish and Israel Education at Hillel International, said. "Your purpose could be anything from connecting with family to reading from the entire Haggadah to hearing certain songs sung." With other seder leaders, establish your goals, and then make your roadmap from there.
2. Planning for everyone
Once you have made these key decisions, it's time to communicate them to all of your guests. Send out an email ahead of time with the following details:
Details: Include the date, time, and how to log on. To ensure privacy, set a password and distribute it ahead of time.
Etiquette: Set expectations and a process for how to participate, whether that's using Zoom's hand raising function, that people are going to be muted and then unmuted when called upon, or if your'e opting for some good old free-for-all chaos (this one is not exactly recommended).
Agenda: Give people an overview of the purpose of the seder, and what it will encompass.
The Haggadah: Make sure people know how to follow along.
Assign roles: If you can assign different guests to lead different parts of the seder, that can help everyone feel connected. "Give each person, if at all possible, a line or two to read to allow for maximal participation, or mute all and encourage people to do their own blessings wherever they are," suggests Rabbi Rachel Sabath Beit-Halachmi.
Set a dress code: This can be a fun way to add a sense of occasion. "Make it as special as you can, no sweats or pajamas," Rabbi Irving A. Elson, the director of the JWB (Jewish Welfare Board) Jewish Chaplains Council, said. "Zoom or not, it IS a holy time."
Send a shopping list: Let people know what they should have on hand so they can participate in the rituals you have decided to do.
Distribute any other resources: Will you be setting a custom background? Discussing any specific articles?
3. Do a technical dry run
The person in charge of Zoom should try to connect with each attendee ahead of time to make sure they're familiar with the platform. If everyone can try logging on at the same time to avoid technical difficulties on the night of, that's ideal. But some people may need one-on-one help, too.
4. Address the elephant (laptop) in the room.
During a Passover, every object on the table has symbolic, ritualistic, or tradition-imbued meaning. The Jewish leaders consulted for this piece were not all in agreement about how much emphasis should be placed on the tech. But in the dialogical spirit of Passover, addressing the reality of the technology could be a powerful way to begin discussion of the Passover story.
"The question that kicks off the entire seder is "why is this night different from all others?" David Ackerman said. "Most people will have a ready answer to that question. The more interesting question is, 'How does the inability to gather in person for this year's seder provide us with new insights into the essence of the Passover story?'"
It could also serve as a poignant lens through which to see the night's themes and various rituals.
"The whole idea of matzah is that we make something out of nothing – if our dough doesn’t have time to rise, we strap it to our back and eat it unleavened," Rabbi Rachel Grant Meyer said. "Similarly, I see the presence of a computer screen as making abundance out of what could have seemed like nothing."
Related Video: Here’s how to change your Zoom background
5. Keep Order
Try your darndest to stick to the mute vs. unmute etiquette you set out in the planning emails. Reiterate the expectations and make sure people are clear on how the night is going to run. Since video chatting is a bit complicated with a night of discussion and music, here's what Rabbi Schwartz recommends for keeping everything running smoothly during the singing portions of the night — seder does mean "order," after all!
Singing together is one of the highlights of the seder, but most video conferencing platforms have a good amount of lag time between when a person speaks and when it's heard by the other participants making singing together a challenge. Try having everyone but the song leader sing along on mute, this will give the joy of singing as a group, but without the frustration of everyone being one second off.
Then again, there are also Zoom choirs flourishing in our time of social distancing, so singing together — virtually — can be done. If raising your voices together trumps well-ordered harmony, have at it.
Here are some tips from Rabbi Rachel Sabath Beit-Halachmi on keeping people engaged, but also making the seder orderly...enough.
Have a leader for each section, if not for the whole. Assign roles for participants, and unmute only those speaking, and unmute all only for cacophony — and to hear the sounds of all at certain points and at the beginning and end.
6. Document
If the circumstances of this year's seder seem extraordinary, that's because they are. Designate a person to take screengrabs, keep notes, or write memories of the night.
"This is a moment we’re never going to forget," Jason Leivenberg, the director of NuRoots, which focuses on creating community for Jews in their 20s and 30s, at the Jewish Federation of Great Los Angeles, said. "In light of what the holiday calls on us to do, which is remember, how are we going to document this for generations?"
7. Have patience, and let it be.
Many memorable seders include an element of chaos. And with a big change this year, accepting that the evening might contain bumps in the road, or feel different, will help everyone make the most of their time.
"There’s gotta be a layer, a level, of being patient with each other during the actual dinner," Leivenberg said. "I think the sooner that we can embrace that it’s just going to be different, the more fun we can have, and the more we can actually also take it seriously."
SEE ALSO: How to start living your best Zoom party life8. Turn towards the future
The Passover seder ends with the refrain "Next year in Jerusalem." As we all make sacrifices to help flatten the curve and fight coronavirus, at seder this year, many Jewish leaders said we can also include a hope for "next year in person."
We can also consider what Jews' ability to gather — if remotely — during this time, shows us about our past, and our future.
"At its core, the story of Passover is about the journey from slavery to freedom, from difficult circumstances to a better future," Rabbi Schwartz said. "Jews have told this story at every period of our history. During times of abundance and freedom, the seder has helped orient us to the needs of others, while in difficult times the seder has grounded us in the hope that, 'this too shall pass.' This year, the prevalence of virtual seders can not only connect us to those who are isolated but also provide a hopeful reminder that we too are on a journey toward freedom."
Amen to that, and Happy Passover.
This story was initially published on April 6, 2020, but was updated on March 26, 2021.