Luvvie Ajayi Jones is horniesthousewife sex videono stranger to imposter syndrome. The veteran blogger was afraid to call herself a writer for about 10 years.
Total Time- 30 min
- Yourself
Step 1: Recognize imposter syndrome's roots and how to sever them
Imposter syndrome is a constant message we get that accompanies living in a world that will sometimes try to diminish our value, even if it doesn't realize it's doing so, says Ajayi Jones.
Step 2: Give yourself credit but don't forget about humility
If you struggle to give yourself credit, whether that's at work or in your personal life, Ajayi Jones wants you to know that touting your accomplishments isn't arrogant. Doing so helps you lift yourself up instead of falling back on self-doubt.
Step 3: Use imposter syndrome to your advantage
Imposter syndrome does have some redeeming value, Ajayi Jones writes.
Step 4: Own your differences
As a professional speaker, Ajayi Jones is often the only Black woman in the room. Instead of allowing that to hobble her, she leans into it.
She also almost skipped delivering her 2017 TED Talk "Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable," despite her many years of professional speaking at that point. It currently has more than five million views.
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"I turned it down twice because I didn't think I was ready for it," says Ajayi Jones. "... I'm not even sure I realized I was operating from fear at that point."
Imposter syndrome hit again when Oprah chose Ajayi Jones for her inaugural SuperSoul100 list in 2016, which recognizes "innovators and visionaries who are aligned on a mission to move humanity forward," according to Oprah.com. At first she thought the email notifying her of the news was spam.
In her book Professional Troublemaker: The Fear-Fighter Manual, which published earlier this month, Ajayi Jones teaches her readers how to tackle fears like these in order to "live boldly and audaciously." Part of that requires standing up to imposter syndrome.
"Impostor syndrome is the feeling of wearing a mask and playing a role that you don’t feel at home in. It is present in those moments when you feel like you or your work are a fluke, and that you’re a dwarf among giants," Ajayi Jones writes.
It can show up in different ways. Sometimes imposter syndrome convinces us we're not ready for an opportunity. Other times, it makes us feel silly for wanting a raise or tells us we have to overprove ourselves, said Ajayi Jones in an interview with Mashable.
Imposter syndrome also ebbs and flows. What once terrified you may no longer faze you. Or the opposite can occur. You might have thought you've overcome your fear of public speaking, but it rears its ugly head in the middle of a speech.
For Ajayi Jones, fighting the doubt that comes along with imposter syndrome is a lifelong journey to look fear in the face and keep going.
This is in part why Ajayi Jones wrote her book. While she speaks her mind and now knows how to reject feelings of fear and doubt, doing so is an intentional decision she makes and she says it takes practice.
Mashable spoke with Ajayi Jones to learn how she fights imposter syndrome — and how you can too.
1. Recognize imposter syndrome's roots and how to sever them
Imposter syndrome is a constant message we get that accompanies living in a world that will sometimes try to diminish our value, even if it doesn't realize it's doing so, says Ajayi Jones. "We'll start thinking and saying, 'OK, I do believe what they said about me.'"
Be intentional about not internalizing these messages, says Ajayi Jones. To do this, realize that often people's judgments of you may be wrapped up in their feelings of self-doubt.
"You aren't supposed to constantly shape-shift to make those around you feel better about their own insecurities or failures," she writes in the book.
In rejecting these criticisms, Ajayi Jones says you'll be in a better position to embrace your own opinions and believe in your value.
Self-doubt that might emerge from other people's judgments of you may crop up when you want to ask for a raise, for example. You might question if you deserve a bump in pay or if you've earned it. Explore what's behind your doubts.
"...ask yourself why wouldn't you have earned it? Haven't you put in the work? Can you handle the work? You can," says Ajayi Jones.
You should also arm yourself with knowledge before you ask for a raise.
"Research the industry. How much are your peers making? How much do people get compensated for comparable work?" she writes.
Recognize that you're not greedy for asking for more money and say the pay you want with enthusiasm, not as if you're questioning if you deserve it.
"Say your number with confidence and then say nothing else. Sit there and wait for their response," Ajayi Jones writes.
2. Give yourself credit but don't forget about humility
If you struggle to give yourself credit, whether that's at work or in your personal life, Ajayi Jones wants you to know that touting your accomplishments isn't arrogant. Doing so helps you lift yourself up instead of falling back on self-doubt.
"Why wouldn't you want to own how amazing you are?" she says. "Other people are not going to tell you how amazing you are if you think you're trash."
We spend so much time thinking it's our job to diminish ourselves so other people feel better, she says. Instead, we have to be courageous enough to say 'Yes, I am really good at X, Y, and Z.'
To that end, the first chapter of Professional Troublemakercenters on getting to know yourself, because without this foundational understanding it's easier to let other people's opinions about you influence your own.
"Knowing ourselves is important because it provides that foundation for us. It doesn't allow anyone or anything to tell us who we are," Ajayi Jones writes.
You also should ask yourself questions like "What do I hold dear?" "What are my core values?" and "Even on my worst day, what makes me amazing?" These exercises are important because, as Ajayi Jones writes, they let us "write our values in cement even if our goals are in sand."
Not only do these questions help you home in on who you are, they also reveal who you aren't. This helps during moments when you question your worth because you'll remember others' opinions of you don't reflect on you.
Touting your accomplishments doesn't necessarily mean foregoing humility, though. For Ajayi Jones, humility requires recognizing those who came before you.
"It is about knowing you are part of a tribe that is greater than yourself," she writes. This could be your family or a community that holds you accountable.
By recognizing these people, and how their sacrifices allowed you to improve your craft, you can better own that you're enough and have achievements worth talking about.
"We're anchored, tethered, and grounded in something bigger than ourselves and, because of that, we also need to give ourselves credit because the people who came before us worked hard so we could do that," she says. "Their work can't be in vain..."
3. Use imposter syndrome to your advantage
Imposter syndrome does have some redeeming value, Ajayi Jones writes.
"It keeps us humble. It keeps us curious," she explains in her book. "Doubt has purpose at times. If we don't think our work is good enough, we strive to do better and be better."
But she says you need to balance getting more skillful while keeping those nagging voices that say you aren't good enough at bay.
"I think imposter syndrome can be a driver of good things because it makes sure you are constantly practicing your craft," says Ajayi Jones. If you want to make sure you earn your place in the room, you'll keep working at what you're known for.
For example, you may be an accomplished artist but this doesn't mean you're done growing. Continue to sharpen your skills by taking classes and learning from others in your field.
"The very act of doing that [continuously improving] will ensure that you are actually better and that will spur your success," says Ajayi Jones.
4. Own your differences
As a professional speaker, Ajayi Jones is often the only Black woman in the room. Instead of allowing that to hobble her, she leans into it.
"Instead of letting it other me, I use it to affirm how necessary my work and my voice are," she writes. "When I walk out of the room, those in it will not forget who I am. You might not remember Scott and Tim, but you’re going to remember Luvvie who came in her fedora, her red lip, and sometimes a pair of crispy Jordans or wing tips."
We often recede into our shells because we don't want to be judged for being different. As Ajayi Jones writes, "being ordinary and unremarkable is hardly a life goal, but we are often scared into being that way," she writes.
This can induce imposter syndrome because it leads you to believe what makes you different reduces your worth, despite all evidence that those difference have actually led to your success, she explains.
"...that constant shrinking and dwindling is how giants get locked in cages. You don't belong in cage simply because it's where others want you to be," Ajayi Jones writes.
Your differences aren't impediments, they're your superpowers. They help you stand out in a crowd. To internalize this, ask yourself why you feel uncomfortable. Is it because you're different from the people around you?
"Why should I feel out of place? Because I'm not like everyone else in there? Sure. But I am not any less than they are," writes Ajayi Jones.
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