Mystery is lesbian sex humiliation videosafoot. The plot is thickening. And Only Murders in the BuildingSeason 3 already has us on the edge of our seats.
We're all wondering, who killed Ben (Paul Rudd)? The first two episodes of Season 3 have already blessed us with some clues, including a suspect list straight out of Cluedo, however, this week's episode gave us some more concrete evidence. We now know that Ben was fighting with someone in his dressing room on Death Rattle's opening night. But who?
The answer is too delicious.
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Let's dig into Ben's dressing room fight.
Credit: Patrick Harbron/Hulu Documentarian Tobert (Jesse Williams) is shooting a film about Ben's big Broadway debut, and on Death Rattle's opening night, he leaves his camera in Ben's dressing room where the tape keeps rolling, capturing some candid happenings in the process. Later, as Tobert and Mabel (Selena Gomez) watch the footage, we hear Ben argue with a mysterious entity offscreen.
At first, it seems like a standard lover's quarrel with Ben saying, "You're not supposed to be here." But as the tape plays, it gradually feels like Ben isn't actually talking to a person per se — but to a pile of cookies instead. Hear me out.
During the table read in episode 1, Ben reacts dramatically after spotting a plate of Schmackary's cookies sitting innocently near his chair (they even sound delicious). Rudd proceeds to brilliantly deliver the utmost line of defeat: "There's cookieshere."
Dickie Glenroy (Jeremy Shamos), Ben's brother, quickly explains to the cast that Ben's on a strict diet for his next CoBromovie — and cookies "are a weakness." Ben illustrates the power of temptation that cookies have over him when he later interrupts the entire table reading to unsubtly sneak a bite. Later in the episode, during Ben's apology tour at the afterparty, Ben reveals he's only allowed mangoes as a sweet treat. So, it's absolutely imperative that no cookies be around ever, lest the CoBrostar alter his action-figure physique.
Here's where the cookie theory gets chewy.
Was Ben talking to cookies?
Credit: Patrick Harbron/Hulu In Tobert's footage, Ben starts saying other things like, "You're just gonna sit there, acting all sweet." You know what's sweet? Cookies. You know what just sits there tempting you with its sweetness? Cookies.
Ben's tirade continues with a slew of phrases that could be double entendres like "We both know you're bad" and "I want you so fucking bad, but you're gonna ruin my career… And I'm gonna likeit."
Cookies will ruin Ben's diet. Cookies will possibly have an effect on Ben's CoBro ripped bod (and thus, if we're being real about unrealistic beauty standards absolutely prevalent in action movies, his career). Cookies are what Ben wants but knows he can't have. Cookies (!!!) are the thing Ben's yelling at in Tobert's footage.
SEE ALSO: The Paul Rudd Easter egg you might have missed in 'Only Murders in the Building'Furthermore, Ben says all of the above with somuch dramatic flair that it feels like a conversation he's having alone with himself in his dressing room, that no one would ever hear. The complete silence in the clip also hints that no one else was actually there with him in the room. Surely if Ben was arguing with a person, we'd hear them retort, crying or making any type of sound. But there's absolutely nothing, just the deafening silence from a pile of delicious cookies waiting — demanding even — to be eaten.
This cookie theory lends credence to an early theory of Mabel's, which is that Ben was poisoned on opening night. You know where you can sneak in some poison? COOKIES.
Considering that a liverwurst and marmalade sandwichwas last season's killer-identifying clue, it's highly likely that cookies may be another big clue this season. Only Murders in the Buildingloves a wacky plot twist, so Ben yelling at a plate of cookies in his room is totally a silly twist that would be on brand for Only Murders In the Building.
While episode 3 ends with all eyes turning to Kimber (Ashley Park), Ben's potential secret love interest, she could be a red herring, distracting us from Ben's real — and self-confessed — love, cookies. Beware the Schmackary's Ben, they're out to get you.
How to watch: Season 3 of Only Murders in the Buildingis now streaming on Hulu.
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