It's Pride month and lesbian anal massage oil sex videothat can only mean one thing: TIME TO FIGURE OUT OUR NEXT PRIDE ANTHEM!
With so many bops being released on the daily (and with Carly Rae Jepsen blessing us with her entire discography), your Pride playlist may already be full of jams that you want to listen to all month long.
SEE ALSO: 18 very gay and very good books you should read this Pride MonthBut, for the sake of causing some drama™, here are 13 songs (in no particular order) that should be your next Pride anthem.
1. "Bloom" by Troye Sivan
Troooooyyyeeeee! Thank you for this bop, sis! Australian singer Troye Sivan destroyed our emotions with his collection of moody synth-filled jams in his first album Blue Neighbourhood. But if his new single "Bloom" is any indication, with his second album, Sivan is coming directly for our wigs.
From the talk singing at the start ("Take a trip into my gardeeennn, I got so much to show yaaaaa") to the heavy drum kick in the chorus, "Bloom" is a Pride month MOOD. Oh, also the song is not-so-secretly about sex.
Yaaaaassss, we stan a song that's just "about flowers." Yaaaaassss
2. Just the isolated dialogue from the Designing Women scene "The night the lights went out in Georgia"
Excuse me. I couldn't help but overhearing part of your conversation. And I gather from your conversation that there are a couple of other things you don't know. For example, you probably don't you know Designing Women's Julia Sugarbaker, Suzanne Sugarbaker's sister, is an icon in and of herself, and if her incredible monologue "the night the lights went out in Georgia" isn't played at every Pride party, brunch, and parade, a crime has been committed.
If you really need it to bop (more than it already does), maybe just underscore it with a fun house beat. I dunno. But no matter what, play this all during Pride month.
Yaaaaassss, we stan a baton twirler who didn't win congeniality and that's not something the women in her family aspire to anyway. Yaaaaassss!
3. "Pynk" by Janelle Monáe
Okay, so listen. The world has been sleeping on Janelle Monáe for far too long. But with her new album Dirty Computer, the artist is saying NO MORE. She's here, she's queer, and she's dancing in pussypants in the middle of the desert with Tessa Thompson between her legs. Literally what else could you ask for? Nothing. There is nothing left. She gave us everything we want. And therefore it must be on your Pride playlist. Those are the rules.
Yaaaaassss, we stan a video that's an aesthetic AF extended sexual innuendo! (And we stan Janelle Monáe too, forever and ever. Amen.) Yaaaaassss!
4. The Golden Girls theme song, but the gospel version
The Golden Girls has always been a staple of gay culture. ("The transgressive power of The Golden Girlsis that it's a show about the construction of a chosen family rather than a biological family, a very queer conceit," Louis Peitzman wrote for BuzzFeed in 2014.) Given its already strong connection to the queer community, it was hard to imagine how we could stan morefor The Golden Girls.
Enter YouTuber Finally Aaron. In 2016, the singer uploaded a gospel remix of The Golden Girlstheme song that you didn't know you need. It's got vocal runs, it's god ad-libs, it's a got a wig snatch. It's now years later since it was posted and I am still SHOOK. Add it to you Pride list, folks.
Yaaaaassss, we stan a pal and a confident. Yaaaaassss!
5. "Curious" by Haley Kiyoko
If there is one person who's taking the pop world by storm in 2018, it's Haley Kiyoko. The singer released her debut albumExpectationsin March; and her song Curious, with its energetic vocals and an infectious drum beat that just makes you want to dance, has been an early break out.
But in addition to being a jam, the song is also a sign of the progress that queer narratives have made in being folded into the mainstream. Kiyoko herself is openly gay and has been vocal about queer representation in music. (She wrote a tweet slamming Rita Ora's song "Girls" as harmful.)
Describing "Curious" for the New York Times culture podcast Still Processing, writer Jenna Wortham explained, "If this were ten years ago, [the song] would be about being curious about whether or not she likes women. However, the song is actually about her curiosity of whether or not her ex is serious about the guy she's with or does [the ex] miss her. It's just a really fun, sexy pop song."
Yaaaaassss, we stan progress. Yaaaaassss!
6. Queer Eye Theme Song remix by Betty Who
If you are a person who has been alive in 2018, then you probably have already seen (and cried while watching) Netflix's Queer Eyereboot. Well, if you wanted to make an already titularly queer show even gayer, we got news for you: the show's second season has an updated theme song, this time recorded by Betty Who. And. It. Is. Everything!
While, the song is a great itself CAN WE ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW THE VIDEO HAS OUR COLLECTIVE BOO THANG ANTONI IN A CROP TOP TOSSING A BUNCH OF AVOCADOS?!
My heart! I live!
Yaaaaassss, we stan an avocado enthusiast (and we stan the whole Fab 5). Yaaaaassss!
7. "So Emotional" by Whitney Houston
Sometimes you don't want to dance. Sometimes you want to belt your heart out. And who better to get you to park and bark, this Pride than one Miss Whitney Houston, our literal fairy godmother.
Houston's song "So Emotional" has always been iconic, but it has taken on a new life after RuPaul Drag Racecontestant Sasha Velour performed it during the Drag Race All Stars 2 finale. Velour didn't just lip sync to the song — she took "So Emotional" and made it her own, using a rose motif and perhaps one of the most dramatic reveals to ever grace television.
If you don't take a break this Pride Month and emote your heart out to a Whitney Houston classic, what are you even doing?!
Yaaaaassss, we stan a legendary chanteuse. Yaaaaassss!
8. "Dancing on My Own" by Robyn
Okay, a few things. 1. Where is the new album, Miss Robin Miriam Carlsson? Where is the new album? 2. No Pride playlist is truly complete without Robyn. Add it to your playlist, ASAP.
Yaaaaassss, we stan a emotional power ballad about being lonely, set to an electro synth beat! Yaaaaassss!
9. "Daddy Issues" by Demi Lovato
In 1789, Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter declaring: "In this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes and that Demetria Devonne Lovato will give us a bop every summer."
And you know what, Demi has held up her end of the deal.
Lovato gave us "Cool for the Summer" in 2015. She gave us the vastly underrated "Body Say" in 2016. She gave us "Sorry Not Sorry," a.k.a. our forever mood, in 2017. So it's only fitting that "Daddy Issues" be crowned an anthem of 2018.
If I'm being totally honest, it's a crime that this isn't already the official Pride theme song. But don't worry, Forbesmusic writer Hugh McIntyre has an idea:
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Yaaaaassss, we stan our lawful queen Demi. Yaaaaassss!
10. "Statistics" by Timothée Chalamet
Timothée Chalamet shall forever have a spot in our hearts for bringing Elio, the unforgettable character from André Aciman's classic gay novel Call Me By Your Name, to life. But it's not "Visions of Gideon" (you know that Sufjan Stevens song that plays during the movie's devastating credits scene) that's on the list. It's Chalamet's music video "Statistics."
Alright, here's the story. Before he reached movie stardom, Timothée Chalamet, rapping under the name "Ya boi lil Timmy Tim," recorded a music video (or as he says "coming through live, from G25") for his statistics class.
It's weird. It's awkward. It needs to be a Pride anthem.
Yaaaaassss, we stan Ms. Lawton. Yaaaaassss!
11. "Omigod You Guys" by the cast of the Legally Blonde musical
Four words: Courtney, Take Your Break.
Yaaaaassss, we stan a shady sales associate trying to sell last year's dress with half loop stitch on China silk at this years price. Yaaaaassss!
12. "Like I Do" by Christina Aguilera
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Yaaaaassss, we stan the return of a legend. Yaaaaassss!
13. This intentionally off key edit of Sia's "Chandelier"
idk, this is really funny and I think everyone should listen to it.
Yaaaaassss, we stan whatever this is. Yaaaaassss!
Okay, here's the real tea is: We can't actually tell you what your next Pride anthem should be. That is something you must feel in your heart. And the beauty of Pride is that the month is designed to be open, inclusive, and a reminder to embrace yourself to the fullest. So we have just one wish for whatever you listen to this Pride month: W e hope it makes you feel sickening.
Happy Pride, everybody!
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