Male sex toys don’t get talked about with the same celebration with which we hear women evangelizeabout their vibrators. They are ??? ??? ??? ??? ??seen as kinky additions or stigmatized as partnered sex replacements for sad, lonely men. Even if cock rings and butt plus and masturbation sleeves aren’t necessaryto achieve orgasm, sex toys for penises can be a stimulating addition to the bedroom.
In its first foray into the sex toy space, Playboy has released its Playboy Pleasurecollection sold exclusively at Lovers sex toy shops and at LoversStores.com. All of the glass and silicone toys are easy to clean, and nearly all of the chargeable toys come with little Bluetooth remotes you’ll want to label so you don’t confuse them with the shutter remote that came with your pandemic ring light.
Is the bunny we all associate with gentlemanly pleasures any good at getting guys off? I masturbated a lot this month to find out.
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Cock rings
Bunny Buzzer, $68
Playboy didn’t try to reinvent the vibrating wheel with its take on the classic bullet vibe cock ring. It’s simple. It’s powerful. It works. I liked that the lone button is big and easily accessible instead of other penis rings that require my lubed-up hands to slip around multiple tiny buttons. Imagine the frustration of accidentally turning a toy off when you meant to increase the intensity. Easy way to upset a cowgirl who otherwise would stay in your lap until she goes numb.
I started a test session with the Bunny Buzzer with a lover and, after we went through the toys, she asked to go back to this one for a couple more orgasms. Missionary is okay with the Bunny Buzzer, but bodily dimensions may vary results. A different partner complained that, during missionary, the bullet just dug into her pubic bone. And the bunny ears didn’t stay put long enough to matter to either vulva. Missionary position worked best when I stayed deep inside the first friend and rotated my hips for mini-thrusts to keep the bullet on her clitoris.
SEE ALSO: How to give a handjob like a proOnce you’re confidently hard, just let her get on top and have a day.
The Bunny Buzzer is also pleasant during solo play. Rotate the ring to position the bullet under your junk for radical rumbles to your asshole, taint, and sack. With nearly an hour of playtime per charge, it can add an extra oomph to your next edging session!
The 3 Way, $116
Credit: Playboy This cock ring belongs in a display case in a sex museum, not in a bed. The 3 Way is trying to do far too much and look way too unique to do anything for anyone. For starters, you have to charge two separate motors with the one charging cable provided in the packaging. That’s double the charging time. The dual motors also operate independently with their own buttons on the toy and on the remote control, which I suppose is there to offer more options. I’m trying to fuck, not pick a Netflix movie. Make everything vibrate at the same intensity and call it a day!
Playboy’s creative solution to a nonexistent problem also doubles up with two rings — one for the scrotum and one for the shaft. A vibrating strip of silicone is supposed to land on my perineum, but it didn’t quite cover enough surface area down there and I frequently found myself tucking it back into place. It doesvibrate my taint, but I was so distracted by everything going on (not in the good way) that it wasn’t pleasurable.
SEE ALSO: How to give a blowjob like a proAnother vibrating silicone strip lays atop the penis to, apparently, slide inside the vagina with you. However, my very patient lover didn’t feel anything vibrate once inside her. My shaft just felt like it was a weird shape. All of this confusion and disappointment and frequent check-ins of, "Do you feel anything?" didn’t do wonders for my boner. But we persevered.
The third way you’ll be disappointed by this cock ring-slash-senior thesis art piece is the vibrating brush bristles that are supposed to stimulate her clitoris. Once we’d gotten me through two rings, turned on two vibrations, and inserted the two shafts, we had to get this brush to rest on her vulva. Even if we were both still aroused by this point, she noted that the bristles design dulled the vibrations.
Do less, Playboy. Do less.
Triple Play, $90
Playboy’s Triple Play cock ring will become a first-grab out of my toy box when I want to add some tingles to my strokes. There were some moments when I would let go of my shaft and enjoyed the 360-degree hands-free sensations. As the name suggests — clearly marketing to men through sports talk— this toy’s unconventional design creates three vibration points of contact.
Credit: Playboy The side motors did not disappoint, vibrating my inguinal creases and the base of my penis while my balls were stimulated by a separate motor underneath my sack. The toy takes less time to charge than my iPhone and can service a 30-60-minute session — though you do need to charge two separate points for the maximum effect. Annoying, but I think it’s worth it.
Unlike the Bunny Buzzer, the Triple Play was pretty pointless for my lover during partnered sex. I enjoyed the tickling vibes, but she said she couldn’t feel it enough to make a difference.
Anal toys
Come Hither, $100
The Come Hither is a solid sex toy for prostate play beginners, as it’s not too thin to be pointless but not so thick you’ll have to ease into it (or, well, it into you). This prostate massager doesn’t just vibrate if you want, but when activated the tip mimics that 'come hither’ motion your college girlfriend kept trying to teach you. However, if this prostate massager could hear me, I’d beg for it to curl that finger just a wee bit more. Wriggling my butt around into different positions and clenching my butt cheeks at various tempos, I could relate to every woman who has frustratingly tried to moan micro-instructions to get my fingers or tongue onto justthe right spot.
The remote control made cycling through vibrational patterns and intensities easy. Just as I wish it would come hither a pinch more hither, I wish this toy would vibrate just a bitstronger. I wasn’t disappointed, but I did have to clench my sphincter harder to get more out of it. (Even turned off, the smooth silicone finish feels great going in if you just want something to clench around.) Once I found the body contortion to help the artificial finger stroke my G-spot, I experienced delicious hands-free ejaculations. Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore and began jacking and squeezing until I claimed the prostate orgasm I’d been fighting for.
Very fairly priced for a toy that can finger you all on its own, I would keep the Come Hither if I could only keep one anal toy from the Playboy Pleasure collection.
SEE ALSO: Lube: how to level up your sex lifePleasure 3 Ways, $74
Playboy offers their branded version of the classic three-piece butt plug set. You get a small, a medium, and a large made of borosilicate glass with the iconic bunny logo primed to peek out your butthole. There’s nothing new or innovative here — I own a set like this made out of steel with jewel bottoms in identical sizes and weights. A set like this is a great introduction to butt plug newbies with their safe-for-life flared bases.
Glass and steel are my favorites for butt stuff. I don’t have to worry about which lube I’m using with which toy. You can heat them up or cool them in the freezer (Safety note: be sure to let it melt a bit before insertion unless you want to end up on one of those embarrassing sex injury documentaries.) You don’t have to charge them, and if you’re lazy you can stick the whole set in your dishwasher.
At $74, you’re paying about 50 percent extra for the Playboy logo. Cute for a photoshoot; less cute for a tight budget. You’ll find an identical generic set for $30-50 at most retailers.
Pleasure Pleaser, $110
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Every time I tried out the lazily-named Pleasure Pleaser, I would climax before I could get to know it properly. So, that’s probably a good sign. Playboy’s L-shaped prostate massager felt like just the right size for the occasional anal player. The remote control was easy to use and prevented a lot of awkward reacharounds to change vibrational patterns and intensities.
It’s fun to have a friend put things in you. At a recent sex party, a dominant woman I met incorporated the Pleasure Pleaser into our play. But when she started to ride me cowgirl or when I got on top I’d frequently have to reach behind and push the toy back in. When I orgasmed, it shot right out of me.
"It’s the nature of these types of toys," says butt expert Lyndzi Miller, co-author of The Pegging Book. "They’re known to do that." Miller says that all manufacturers (not just Playboy) could avoid this by tapering the shaft at the bottom to create a smaller ‘neck’ for the sphincter muscles to clench around. So, I would recommend sitting on this one and using your hips to grind it back and forth across your G-spot for maximum incoherent moans.
SEE ALSO: How to prepare yourself for anal sexPlug and Play, $84
I was intimidated when I opened the Plug and Play and took in its girthy circumference. After an hour or two of edging, I felt squirmy enough to attempt Playboy’s vibrating silicone butt plug. This is not for the fella who has only stuck the infrequent finger up his own ass. The Plug and Play may be better as your second or third plug. I was able to slip it in after a couple of slow, dedicated, kind-to-myself attempts. Once in, I felt the fullness that Playboy boasts about in the toy’s description.
When my tired hole settled down around the comfortable silicone stem, I continued my stroke sesh playing with the various vibration settings using its convenient remote control. The vibes are powerful, and if you want to feel yourself really stretch, this is a great butt plug for you. It’s a bit big for me, but it’s always nice to have #goals.
Automated stroker
Pursuit of Pleasure, $200
Credit: Playboy People with penises enjoy stimulation in all different ways: tight, loose, wet, dry, fast, slow, long strokes or short bursts at the tip. So, take this review with a drop of lube: I hated Playboy’s stroker.
The Pursuit of Pleasure is part of the sex toy industry’s continued pursuit to sell a partnerless handjob/blowjob. And like many before them, Playboy missed the mark [for me]. You stick your dick in a masturbation sleeve inside a Fleshlight-like device with three or four beaded rings that stroke up and down at a user’s chosen speed. My chief complaint about Playboy’s stroker is the same as the others: There’s no option to make it tighter. I don’t have a needle dick (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and I don’t require a death grip to feel pleasure. But in this $200 unrecyclable contribution to landfills, I could barely feel the beads massage my penis. There’s also no option to slow down the speed. It automatically starts at fast and goes up to faster — which is great if I wanted to mimic how I jacked off in high school. The various stroke patterns were confusing and unlike any human stimulation I’d received before. The entire concept of automated strokers needs to be rethought. Without promoting a different device, I’ve only enjoyed one stroker and its entire design is different from the competition.
Many complain about the noise of these toys, and I don’t mind that I can hear the PoP at work. I don’t mind that I can barely feel the promised vibrations after waiting three hours for it to charge. I can get past the disgust of cleaning my masturbation sleevein the midst of post-nut clarity. What I can’t excuse is paying two weeks’ worth of groceries for a handjob machine that doesn’t get the job done. I frustratingly sat at my desk inserting a boner, pulling out a wet noodle, getting myself hard again, and repeating this Sisyphean process.
SEE ALSO: The best sex toys for masturbation that anybody can enjoyThe most pleasure I got out of this toy was turning off the motors and jacking myself off manually — which somehow also managed to make noise. I eventually gave up and switched to playing with the Come Hither prostate massager. The only positive thing I can say about the PoP is that it’s wireless, which fans of the Magic Wand know is super clutch. Would be great if that clutch convenience came with competence.
Again, this is based on how mydick works. I like a little lip grip during my blowjobs. I like a variety of stroke lengths. I enjoy when things slow down with purpose. If you think this is too much to expect of a sex toy, I have a stroker in my toy box that does this. And it can sync with a partner’s app in another state. At the same price point.
Dudes, you don’t need to be ashamed of having a sex toy drawer anymore. When your partner pulls out a vibrator in bed, you can pull out something that buzzes too. Then the only fight you need to have is over who gets which charging outlet.