Apple's big iPhone event took place today at the Steve Jobs Theater in Cupertino,uncensored japanese girl groped and now wants to fuck sex video California, and we had several reporters on the scene.
While all signs point to next year'siPhones being the next major evolution of the gadget, this year's new models still had a lot to offer, from that new triple camera (to bump or not to bump?) to a few new colors.
Here's our constantly updating rundown of everything Apple has announced ...
A quick recap of nearly everything Apple revealed
All in all, there were few surprises today as Apple unveiled the long-awaited Apple Arcade subscription plan (at only $4.99 per month) alongside some more details on Applet TV+, including a new show trailer, a release date (Nov. 1), and a consumer-friendly price ($4.99 per month).
In addition, we got a newly upgraded seventh-generation iPad that will set you back $329. Apple also unveiled its Apple Watch Series 5 which features an "always on" display. If the Series 5 is a bit too pricey for you ($399, or $499 for the cellular version), the Series 3 will now be offered for $199.
But, of course, the big moment was when Apple showed off its new iPhones. The iPhone 11 (starting at $699) got an upgraded dual rear camera, a few new colors, and introduced us to the "slofie." But the mega hardware upgrades were reserved for the iPhone 11 Pro and iPhone 11 Pro Max ($999 and $1,099, respectively) which come with a rear triple-camera setup and larger batteries.
All three new models of iPhones will be available for pre-order starting at 8 a.m. ET / 5 a.m. PT on Friday, Sept. 13, and will be released to the wild on Sept. 20.
Oh, and if you're in New York City for the launch, the company's 5th Avenue store will be getting its grand re-opening, so expect one hell of a party.
And that's a wrap!
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Tim Cook hurries off stage with a PEACE OUT, Y'ALL as he heads over to mingle with everyone at the hands-on presentation.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
Behold, the memes
Of course terrific memes were generated from today's event. We've got you covered with the best, right here.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
Tremendous.
Rise and shine and pre-order!
If you're dying to be one of the first to pre-order the new iPhones, you won't lose as much sleep this year. The new phones will go up for purchase on Friday, Sept. 13 (SPOOKY!) at 8 a.m. ET / 5 a.m. PT.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
RIP, these iPhone models?
Based on today's announcements regarding new prices for old phones, it sure seems like the iPhone 7, the iPhone X, and the iPhone XS will no longer be available from Apple.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
Party on 5th Avenue!
If you're in New York City on Sept. 20 and want to really party for the new iPhone release, swing by the company's iconic 5th Avenue store as it reopens as a giant glass cube.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Empty out your wallet
Oh, hey, so finally we know what'll cost! The iPhone 11 Pro will start at $999 and the iPhone Pro Max will start at $1,099. But there are some cheaper options for you if that's too much for you.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable The iPhone XR will now start at $599 and the iPhone 8 will start at $449, a pretty great price for a pretty great phone.
Those prices couldcome down for you with a trade-in, though.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
But what does it look like???
They talked about the iPhone 11 Pro for a good 15-20 minutes before we finally got our first look at the whole thing beyond just THE BUMP thanks to, what else, an ad.
Deep Fusion
Deep Fusion sounds like some devious secret weapon but it's not; it's a feature that uses machine learning to take nine different photos and a neural engine goes through millions of pixels across all of those photos to generate an output image that is of the highest quality, all thanks to the A13 Bionic chip.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Impressive.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
The iPhone 11 Pro's camera is even more insane
So that iPhone 11 camera was great but how about that Pro triple-camera? Wide-angle, telephoto, so many options to make new, creative photos.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Because it has three different cameras, it can take three photos at once.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable For those of us who remember our digital cameras the size of a brick that took photos half us nice, this is quite an upgrade.
The iPhone 11 Pro is here
"The most powerful and most advanced iPhones" Apple has built, according to Cook, and they're leaning into The Bump.
Oh, and they're calling it the iPhone 11 Pro, after all.
You can catch up with all of our coverage of the iPhone 11 Pro and iPhone 11 Pro Max right here.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable And the display has quite a few upgrades, too, such that they're calling the Super Retina XDR display.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable There are also four matte colors: "Midnight green," "space gray," silver, and a new gold phone.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
Prettyyyyyyy.
What the heck is a "slofie"?
Technically, it's a "slow motion selfie" but Apple is out here just making up words willy-nilly. And how do you even spell it?
Here's more about "slofies" and how they're going to take over your life and memes soon.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
The new iPhones have one hell of a new camera
Finally! Here we go. The iPhone that no one is really that excited about because next year's model is already looking even better. But, hey, that new camera (yes, the big bump) actually has some really cool looking features.
Check out all our info about the new iPhone 11 here.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable 
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Yes, that giant new camera will offer a new wide-angle shots for big landscape photos or even close-up, tight shots.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable 
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable And there's the swanky upgrade to low-light photos with Night Mode.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Apple Watch Series 5
There's a new Apple Watch coming September 20, starting at $399 and $499 for cellular models. Meanwhile, you'll still be able to snag a Series 3 Apple Watch for $199.
Here's more of our coverage on the new Apple Watch.
As expected, there's a new Apple Watch coming and the presentation begins with a video that features Watch owners who credit their Apple Watch for helping flag medical issues. Cook calls the difference the Apple Watch is making "inspiring."
Some of the new features focus on health studies, like a hearing study (partnered with the University of Michigan and the WHO) to see how loud noises can affect your hearings and a women's cycle health study (in partnership with Harvard and the National Institute of Health.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable The new Apple Watch also features an "always on" display which makes it a lot like... a normal analog watch! Apple also continues to push 100% recycled aluminum enclosures while the Watch will come in titanium and ceramic, plus some Nike and Hermes models.
A Seventh Generation iPad
Yes, it's a brand new iPad with a 10.2-inch retina display. Oh, and the enclosure is made by 100% recycled aluminum.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable There are some upgrades but, to some Apple watchers, it sure seems familiar.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
We'll see if it's really that good when the $329 iPad Seventh Generation starts shipping at the end of the month.
Read more about it here.
Apple TV+
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable We got a boatload of Apple TV at the last Apple event earlier in 2019, but there's even more to come as Cook is back on stage, talking about Apple TV+. Most important is the November 1 debut and the Hulu/Disney+/Netflix-challenging price of $4.99 a month. But you'll get a year of the service for free when you buy a new Apple product like a new iPhone or iPad.
Read more on Apple TV+ here.
Cook also introduced the trailer for the Jason Mamoa-starring series See, which had previously been teased at another event.
Apple Arcade is here
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable The much-buzzed about Apple Arcade is the first announcement at Tuesday's events. It's a subscription-based service with its own tab on the App store and it debuts on September 19 and will run $4.99 per month (with a free one-month trial).
Check out more on today's Apple Arcade news here.
Major game publishers are in the house, including Konami, who introduced its newest Froggerentry, and Capcom. The giant baby in the new Frogger game is only the first of what is surely going to be many surreal moments today.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable One other game introduced us "Sayonara Wild Hearts," which are own Jess Joho took a look at when it hit the Nintendo Switch back in March.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable The "tools" of an intro
No comedy bit this year. Instead, we get a quick look at the tools of Apple.
A new iPad announcement?
Bloomberg's Marc Gurman with a tweet that suggests we could be getting something about the iPad today, too, in addition to everything else.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
And we're on the ground at the Steve Jobs Theater!
Sources tell us there are frittatas on the premises. Follow @raywongy, @karissabe, @mashable, and @futureshift for the latest Apple news on Twitter.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
New rumor: iPhone Pro and iPhone Pro Max
Bloomberg's Marc Gurman tweeted that his sources say the successors to the iPhone XS and XS Max will be called the iPhone Pro and iPhone Pro Max, not the iPhone 11 Pro and iPhone 11 Pro Max like previous rumors suggested.
The next version of the iPhone XR is still expected to be called the iPhone 11.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
UPDATE: LOL it's the iPhone 11 Pro anyway. Sorry, Mark.
No reverse wireless charging?
Bad news people: It looks like Apple's new iPhones won'tbe able to wirelessly charge other devices, at least that's what famed Apple analyst Ming-Chi Kuo predicts. This comes after Apple's infamous AirPower fail. Here come the jokes ...
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
Hello Tim
And it looks like Apple CEO Tim Cook is already on the scene before 7 a.m. PT.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
Featured Video For You
This edgeless concept iPhone is out of this world
Topics Apple Watch iPhone