What came first,dancing bear sex videos with cum the cracks in the internet as a force for good or the egg?
Much has been written about the world record-breaking Instagram egg over the past weeks, but very little is known about the person behind it.
The internet went into frenzy mode, with newsrooms rolling up their digital forensic investigation sleeves, trying to figure out the "why" of this egg by investigating the "who." Even Ellen DeGeneres was obliged, reluctantly, to acknowledge the power of the egg and send off an invite: "Egg, if you're listening, I want you on the show," she said.
The details of that invite were expanded upon in an email sent (along with countless other publications and TV shows) to the email account listed in the egg's Instagram bio.
Well, have I got news for you: I know the person behind the egg. I even bought them a beer once in London. And I've been following the craziness since Jan. 8 when, at 600,000 likes, it seemed like a good idea to bring up if we ever saw each other for a beer again. (We haven't yet, despite my attempts to arrange an interview.)
SEE ALSO: He fooled an entire nation with a fake Facebook profile. Then I tracked him down.That's the only crack in the egg I'm free to reveal, because this is not my story to tell – this person has so far chosen to remain anonymous. I also don't want to spoil, spearhead, or interrupt the journey into the unknown future of the egg.
In a world of doxxing, hacking, snooping, and stalking, where do we draw the line between public and private? An egg, above all else, is a sign of life (also FYI, of cholesterol); in this case it's also an extension of the real-world life of the person who created it. That person has a life -- a family, a circle of friends, a job, problems, and aspirations -- that should, in theory, remain private.
But is that possible, given how much attention is focused on the egg? And is privacy a reasonable expectation from someone who knowingly launched a viral stunt intended to get maximum audience?
In what seems like a clue, the Instagram account posted a second photo on Saturday. It's identical to the first one, except in this picture a little crack starting to form in the top left corner of the egg.
View this post on Instagram
What will the crack eventually reveal? A turn toward artistic expression or money? (My guess is the latter, seeing that there's merchon the way already.)
Creating the egg account is a little like winning the lottery – both in monetary terms and in terms of the unexpected personal consequences that follow. In an interview with Recode, Darren Lachtman, an influencer marketing mogul and co-founder of Brat, said: "They hit the lottery and they got a billboard in Times Square for free on Instagram. What are they going to do with it?”
The "they" in that question is interesting. The egg is cracking, so we are bound to find out soon who is behind it and what it is really worth. But how everyone else is going to try to tame the goose laying these golden eggs is far more interesting -- will friends sell out the creator's identity for money offered by news organizations after a scoop? Will colleagues or bosses seek to capitalise onthis and/or seek partial ownership?
The egg and the internet. Credit: Getty Images/bestdesigns The answers to these questions are disproportionately connected to another question – "Is the egg just an egg?" If the answer to the latter is "yes," then the answer to the former is most likely a "no." But if you, like me, see that this is much more that "just an egg," then, unfortunately, I think you know the answer to the first question all too well.
The truth is almost everything I know about the person in question is information provided from people that like them and have worked with them. They are roughly the same age as surrealist painter René Magritte was when he painted the famed pipe in "The Treachery of Images" painting. The bottom of the painting of a pipe is lined with a cursive, reading, "Ceci n'est pas une pipe"(This is not a pipe). Magritte's point is simple: to equate the representation with the object is to have lied.
A letter, written by Rene Magritte to poet Colinet, debating the chicken and egg question. Credit: PA Images via Getty Images Likewise, the egg is not just an egg -- it's a potential cash cow, a career boost, a shot to instant internet fame (and all the downsides that comes with that). But it's also a stroke of genius by a person with a proven track record. The anonymity in this situation adds a Banksy-esque flair to it, because I know of at least one other time the person behind the egg account has used creativity, humour, and a certain sensibility about the world we live in today, to make everyone from BuzzFeedto Seth Meyers talk about them.
In some ways the egg is what the internet deserves. If more photos are posted and the cracks grow to eventually reveal a big F**K YOU to product placement of some sort (my imagination is limited), then that's what we deserve because that's what the internet feeds on. After all – that's what the influencer age has brought upon us, and those guys are making five-figure sums from a single post.
And with that, I can conclude that, after all, this is not a storythat requires revealing, just like the pipe does not need objectification. Let me not spoil the brilliance of the internet-age Shakespearean tragedy of the egg by revealing who the author is.
Let us all see where this cracked road leads us.
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