Sometimes the combination of couch,grandmas stolen private message sex videos sweatpants, and [insert latest binge-worthy show] is too strong. Sometimes you have a genuine excuse, but it feels too personal to share. Whatever the reason, the temptation to cancel plans is strong.
In an ideal world, we all have appropriate social boundaries and manage our schedules in a timely and energy-efficient manner. But in the real world, we optimistically make plans only to realize at the last minute that this is not something we want to do.
SEE ALSO: Canceling plans is self-care. Here's how to do it without being a dick.Canceling plans at the last minute is never a great idea. But sometimes it happens, and for whatever reason you might not be comfortable telling the truth. We're not here to judge, we're here to rank the best excuses for canceling plans. Our very unscientific system is an average score of the following factors.
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The scoring system works on a five-point scale, where each factor is averaged to a final score out of five points.
Plausibility: Scoring of the plausibility factor is two-fold. Obviously, the excuse must be believable. No one is going to believe you if you say you've been abducted by aliens and can't make it to happy hour. The second part of the plausibility factor is that it the excuse has to be worthy of canceling plans at the last minute. It can't be something minor that it becomes obvious that you're just looking for a way out.
Minimal collateral risk: Inventing an excuse for canceling plans at the last minute is the easy part since there are plenty of emergencies that could happen. The hard part is inventing an excuse that you won't have to explain or account for in the aftermath. Therefore, the best excuse should be something that is acute and self-contained; it won't prompt follow-up questions, increasingly elaborate stories to cover your tracks, or pull innocent parties into your web of lies.
Karmic retribution: I think we can all agree that making up an excuse to cancel plans is shitty, but some excuses are worse than others in terms of the measures you're willing to take for your own self-preservation.
10. Family/friend emergency
A dead grandparent or some grave accident is an undeniable emergency that would get you out of any obligation. An excuse like this basically gives you carte-blanche to drop all of your plans. The reason why it scores so low on the list is because it's basically despicable to lie about something like this.
Plus, karmic retribution aside, depending on how often you see the person you canceled plans with, you'd have to keep the story going for a while, which is risky.
Some might say that the depravity of the excuse depends on what you're using the excuse for. "I know my grandparents would approve of me taking a sick day or a mental health day," Kelley Crowley told Mashable. "But they'd be pissed if from 'the beyond' they saw me using their name due to a hangover."
![Screenshot: "Hey, I'm so sorry I can't make it tonight, my grandmother just passed away" "I thought all of your grandparents were already dead [suspicious emoji]"](https://helios-i.mashable.com/imagery/articles/01FMVHcqYh8qcoBemMywxS6/images-1.fill.size_2000x976.v1651522255.jpg)
Some might say it depends on the nature of the excuse. Credit: Mashable Plausibility: 4
Minimal collateral risk: 2
Karmic retribution: 0
Excuse score: 2
9. Something work-related
Unless you're a fireman or an ER doctor/nurse, this one is kind of weak. Obviously, people go through busy periods at work where they're working long hours, but in those situations you probably have enough time in advance to reschedule.
The other exception for this excuse is if you work in some kind of deadline-intense job, and you, ahem, may have a habit of procrastinating until the last minute. If the person you're canceling plans with knows you well, then this excuse is completely — albeit reprehensible — plausible.
Maybe every now and then, there is a real emergency, but in that case there is high potential for follow-up questions in the future, which you want to avoid. For these reasons, a work-related excuse scores low on the list.
Honestly, a work emergency isn't very plausible. Credit: Mashable Plausibility: 2
Minimal collateral risk: 2
Karmic retribution: 3
Excuse score: 2.3
8. The (minor) freak accident
"Sorry. I can't make it, I stepped on a bee."
Shockingly, this excuse is real. "Dude actually put on his shoe that, unbeknownst to him, was full of them," said Redditor u/Kush-in-Boots. "Poor dudes foot looked like a Vienna Sausage" they explained in a follow-up comment.
This is an example of something that is so bizarre and weird that no one would ever think you made it up. Which is why it's actually a really good fabricated excuse, since it contains an element of truth. Instead of trying to come up with something from scratch, borrow an outlandish story and just lean into it.
The key is to be as specific as possible — don't go so extreme that it becomes cartoonish — and work in as much of the truth as possible so you can back it up. This one loses points for plausibility and follow-up potential, but feel free to use either one of these stories for your own purposes.
Plausibility: 3
Minimal collateral risk: 2
Karmic retribution: 3
Excuse score: 2.6
7. The scheduling mix-up a.k.a "the Larry David"
Named after Larry David, because he actually does this in an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, this one requires some tour-de-force acting. The scheduling mix-up is pretending that you thought your plans were scheduled for a different day and then realizing your mistake after the fact.
Here's how it works: simply don't show up on the date of the actual plans and then the next day, text something like "Hey are we still on for tonight? What can I bring?" If you want to go full Larry David, instead of texting, actually show up to the person's house/apartment, acting fully oblivious that you got the date wrong.
Obviously, for this to work, you need to really sell it. Once you've made it clear to your friend that you made a mistake, you need to give the performance of a lifetime. You need to be shocked and apologetic, but not over-the-top, which is hard to pull off. It's the kind of devious plan that only Larry David could come up with. But like most Larry David's plans, this one goes wrong which is why it loses points.
This excuse requires Larry-David-level acting. Credit: Mashable Plausibility: 3
Minimal collateral risk: 2
Karmic retribution: 3
BONUS point for creativity: 1
Excuse score: 3
6. The "no excuse" excuse
This one works well, because it effectively skirts the issues of plausibility and collateral impact, thus minimizing possibility of getting caught in your lie. That being said, follow-up risk is high, because you might have to explain yourself someday, and when that day comes, your explanation better be damn good.
The 'no excuse' excuse better be good. Credit: Mashable Plausibility: 5
Minimal collateral: 3
Karmic retribution: 2
Excuse score: 3.3
5. Sick child/pet
Dogs and kids randomly barf all the time. A sick pet or child is a solid excuse because it's plausible and is so commonplace that it usually doesn't indicate a serious illness and doesn't require much explanation beyond a handful of random symptoms. Any parent of a child or pet has definitely used this excuse before.
While pretty airtight, the sick child/pet loses major points for karmic retribution. If you're going to use this excuse, just know that the all-consuming guilt and fear of cosmic justice might not outweigh the short-term relief of canceled plans.
Know that this excuse will come back to haunt you someday... Credit: Mashable Plausibility: 5
Minimal follow-up risk: 4
Karmic retribution: 2
Excuse score: 3.6
4. Waiting for the service technician
Everyone has been caught in a situation where you need something repaired/installed/delivered and are given an outrageously large window of time when the service technician might show up and you're stuck waiting around until they arrive.
It also has low follow-up risk, because it's such a mundane issue that is easily forgettable. Karma-wise, it's not too bad since it doesn't really impact anyone else. While it's plausible because it's an extremely relatable, these appointments are usually scheduled a few days in advance, so you would theoretically have ample time to give someone a heads up.
Everyone has gotten stuck in the delivery window. Credit: Mashable Plausibility: 3.5
Minimal collateral risk: 4
Karmic retribution: 4
Excuse score: 3.8
3. Stomach issues
Let's just not get into this one. We all know it works, it's just gross to talk about. It's very plausible without much collateral risk. Just don't share too many details.
No further explanation needed. Credit: Mashable Plausibility: 4
Minimal collateral risk: 4
Karmic retribution: 4
Excuse score: 4
2. Migraine
This one is so solid that it would have been number one if we didn't have any moral integrity. As someone who actually gets migraines, they are totally debilitating and happen frequently enough for some people that it's very plausible. They also don't leave any visible evidence and mercifully don't usually last longer than 24 hours, which means follow-up risk is low.
Saying you have a migraine as an excuse for canceling plans loses a point for karmic retribution, because while it isn't creating much collateral damage, it's still a lie.
If you know, you know. Credit: Mashable Plausibility: 5
Minimal collateral risk: 5
Karmic retribution: 4
Excuse score: 4.6
1. The actual truth
Surprise! This list is actually wholesome. If you find yourself wanting to cancel plans, ask yourself "Why?" Maybe it's been a long week and you're tired. Maybe after two years of minimal social interaction, your anxiety is flaring up. As Mashable's Caitlin Welsh reports, canceling plans can be a form of self-care. (Just try and give as much advance notice as possible, and don't do it on a regular basis.)
If the person you made plans with loves and cares for you, they'll accept the truth and appreciate the honesty. "Honesty is hard but people can usually tell when it’s genuine," said adrunkern0ob. "Plus you never have to remember what the reason was in the future to hope they don’t ask about it or you end up saying something different and they remember."
If you find yourself wanting you cancel plans with a specific person, maybe it's time to reassess your relationship with them. Maybe you want to see this person, but don't like the plans themselves, in which case you could suggest doing something different. At the very least, if you can't be fully honest with someone about canceling plans, be honest with yourself. Knowing what drives the urge to cancel is powerful information.
This "excuse" is entirely plausible, because it's the truth. As for follow-up risk, the only follow-up you might receive is a message of support. And your conscience is clear because you were honest, so there's no bad karma coming your way.
Honesty is always the best policy. Credit: Mashable Plausibility: 5
Minimal collateral risk: 5
Karmic retribution: 5