Do you have video of sex with a milfa friend who really enjoys their whiskey? Consider getting them some whiskey for the holidays.
Or, you can get them one of these way cooler, totally-weird-but-still-extremely-whiskey-y gifts. These gifts arguably say a lot more than heading to the nearest liquor store and picking up a last-minute bottle of Jim Beam.
Whiskey, as a concept, deserves more than the ordinary. And in that "spirit," here are 13 gift ideas (most of which are wonderfully unordinary) for the whiskey lover in your life.
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1. The Gambler Cologne
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable It might look like a travel-sized whiskey (and whiskey lovers do travel with whiskey), but please, do not try to drink it. This whiskey-scented cologne not only cements your status as a whiskey lover, it lets others in the room know, too. But it's not enough to clear out an area. As the site puts it, it "won't make you smell like a Hell’s Angel eating a bucket of fried chicken" — the trap we all hope to avoid.
Price: $65 from Outlaw Soaps
2. Whiskey Shampoo
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable The product descriptions says this whiskey shampoo is "developed with selected and exclusive ingredients... a product made for men who look for moist and protected hair." But shouldn't all men be looking for moist and protected hair? And who says it has to just be for men? The whiskey shampoo and leave-in set is a tempting cosmetic experiment for any whiskey lover.
Price: $15.90 from QOD Cosmetics
3. Whiskey Flight Tray
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Any self-proclaimed whiskey lover shouldn't be without their own whiskey flight, perfect for trying out some samples or just holding your drinks. This one not only accomplishes that, but it also grants you extra whiskey points with Glencairn glasses placed in a real whiskey barrel stave.
Price: $45 from Etsy
4. Bourbon Lip Balm
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Because it's tough to fit a whole bottle of whiskey in a stocking! It may not be glass of Jack Daniels, but this whiskey-flavored lip balm at least offers a tiny bit of satisfaction between sips.
Price: $5 from Little Flower Soaps
5. Magnetic Whiskey Barrel Knife Block
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable This whiskey barrel wooden knife block is "embedded with a solid strip of super strong rare earth magnets" which grip the knives as if by magic. No, you didn't have too much whiskey. It's just science.
Price: $49 from Etsy
6. Malt Whiskey Shirt
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable When you whisk upon a bar...er, wait...that's not how it goes. If you're a jaded Disney fan who felt the urge to hit the bottle after this year's The Lion King, maybe this shirt is for you. Admittedly corny but nevertheless fun, don this tee to celebrate "the most magical drink on earth." Just maybe keep it in your dresser for that family trip to Disney World. Or don't! Who are we to stop you?
Price: $18.95 from Etsy
7. Whiskey Cocktail Book
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Perhaps one of the most obvious gift ideas on this list, a whiskey cocktail book would be a perfect tool for any whiskey lover to keep in their arsenal. Any old whisker can make a whiskey sour, but it's time to get a little more creative than that. A cocktail book can help you do just that with over 100 recipes to try out.
Price: $18.53 from Barnes & Noble
8. Fireball Undies
They're Fireball undies. Like, that's it. That's all you should need to know to want them. What better way to affirm your commitment to whiskey than to wear it all day and all night long?
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Price: $8.95 from Boozin' Gear
9. Whiskey Barrel Stave Shelf
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable What better way to hold your whiskey bottles than in a wooden stave shelf made from real bourbon and whiskey barrels? This stave shelf should keep the goods nice and snug, and you should look really cool lifting bottles out of it.
Price: $69 from Etsy
10. Whiskey Barrel Maple Syrup
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable This maple syrup is aged in whiskey barrels to draw out "vanilla, caramel, wood spice and best of all a hint of whiskey." Not only will this get any whiskey lover's morning off to a sweet start, it's one of the only whiskey products deemed socially acceptable to consume in the morning.
Price: $20 from Made In Washington
11. Whiskey Wood Chips
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Add that extra burst of smokiness to your food when you throw some whiskey wood chips on the grill. With wood from whiskey barrels, barbecue gets the slightest tinge of booziness to amplify your grill game. Whiskey lovers might want to give this trick a try.
Price: $9.99 for a 2 lb. bag from Char-Broil
12. Whiskey Potato Chips
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Because we appreciate whiskey chip content in all its forms here. The cool part about these whiskey chips, as opposed to the last ones, is that you can eat them. Nothing quite satisfies like hard liquor and snack food, and these Jim Beam bourbon whiskey potato chips combine the best of both worlds to create a savory snack to pour into a bowl, crunch onto a sandwich, or eat straight out of the bag.
Price: £14.99 (~$20) for a 20-pack from Burts Chips
13. Wooden Whiskey Tumbler
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Glasses are cool and all, but there's something equally elegant about a wooden tumbler crafted from white oak. Get one for your favorite whiskey lover, and then get one for yourself to instantly become a whiskey lover.
Price: $40 from Etsy
14. Really F***ing Expensive Whisky
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Do you have $10,000 to blow on a single bottle of alcohol? Well this Yamazaki Single Malt Whisky may just be the most declarative status symbol this side of the 1 percent. Aged 25 years and at the price of a modestly used car, this has got to be the whiskiest whisky to have ever whiskied. We don't really know what that means, either. Take it as you will.