If you scroll through Tinder fast enough and google+big+round+breast+sex+videosover a long enough period of time, you’re bound to come across a famous person. You might even come across the co-founder and chairman of Tinder itself, eligible bachelor Sean Rad.
We know that as a famous person Rad has to maintain an air of professionalism, even on his own app. But there's a fine line between polished gentleman hustler and blank slate of nondescript okay-ness. Sean Rad's Tinder profile may have crossed that line.
"But he's the CEO, he should be an expert at Tinder!" you may or may not care to exclaim. To which we say, aye, but he is. He gave some great advice on setting up a profile to GQa while back. He just can't seem to act on it.
SEE ALSO: Why has this country become Tinder's favourite testing ground?Maybe he doesn't need to, because being a very successful man means he gets a lot of matches anyway. Maybe he keeps a profile on the app purely as a marketing exercise. We don't know because during his visit to Sydney, Australia earlier this week, we were too busy discussing Trump's "Muslim ban" with the 30-year-old entrepreneur to ask him.
Now, we'll never get to tell him how to make his profile more interesting. At least not face to face. But we do have some ideas.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Step 1: Change your profile pic, dude.
I know it's awesome that you appeared on CNBC one time, but you look sad -- like you're being kept against your will. You toldGQ, "It's pretty well-known that smiling in photos helps you to be perceived as more friendly too." What changed? Congratulations, you played yourself.
Step 2: Spruce up your profile description with some humour.
"I'm the CEO of Tinder Inc. (makers of the app you're using)" has just got to go. First of all, people know what Tinder is, you don't need to remind them when they're using it. Secondly, you've already said that in the employment category, don't waste precious profile space repeating yourself. Rookie error.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Why not tell people what you're looking for in a partner or make a joke about the fact that, you know, you're Sean Rad? "Keep it short and sweet," you told GQthat one time, "include a hobby or two, a quote from one of your favourite TV characters, what types of people you'd like to meet, or a fun fact." Why are you so insistent on ignoring your own good advice, Sean Rad?
Step 3: Grab a cute animal.
It doesn't matter what kind, just get a picture of yourself holding an adorable animal in your pics. Consensually though, please -- sedated tigers are an obvious no-no. Again, we refer you to your own GQinterview, in which you said "cute animals for the win." Goddamn it, Sean!
Step 4: Show off your social side.
People want to know you're more of an Edward Lewis type and less of a Patrick Bateman. As an eccentric millionaire, you may have to work even harder to convince people you're not creepy. Where are your fun-filled pictures with friends? If we can Google them, you should be able to upload them.
As you put it, "Group photos are great because they show that you're social and have a solid group of friends. At the same time, you don't want all photos to be in groups because they may have a hard time finding you. This isn't Where's Wally."
That’s funny, Sean. Apply that wit of yours to your profile, maybe?
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Step 5: If a nice writer who's at least a solid 5 swipes right on you, don't spurn her.
She only wants to shoot the sh*t about what makes a good Tinder profile, not have your goddamn Tinder babies. #notbitter
We leave you with this final piece of wisdom, which you have obviously ignored. "Putting in a little extra effort in your profile goes a long way. Be authentic -- the best profiles give insight into your personality and are good conversation starters." -- Sean Rad
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